Assalamualaikum
THE TRUTH
The truth was revealed on a very special moment last Friday. It was shocking. Finally it was made known that it is not me who is not ready. It is she that wants FREEDOM. Funny when the word was said, my heart drop and my mind were blown away back to 2001. The same word even it is not at the same event and moment experienced has made me lost. My heart was beating endlessly. To confirm, I asked…..
“Can you promise me that you come back to me.?”
She answered “ I don’t know”
“Will you fall for another man in the event.?”
She answered clearly “Maybe”
And my last question…
“Is this what you really want”
She answered “ Yes, I have been conducted myself in wifely manner, so I deserve this”
By this time, my heart drops, my hand shivering…. I feel so much pain inside. My mind blown back to 2001. What do I do, I asked myself? How I am facing this? My tear just came out and I started to cry….. I did my very best to control everything. I had to wash my face several time. At the end I control myself well.
My mind wanted to speak, to explain, to tell that I equally give the same but my heart says for the love you have for her…. You let her go.
I sent her back to the house and when she left me, I cried and cried and cried. The truth is this time, the hurt is more. The pain is not imaginable. For it will be written and it will be known that the door is shut. She will get what she wanted. She will get her FREEDOM
THE DAY
I didn’t sleep. I pray in the morning, then, I ran till there is nothing left in me to run. I cried till there is nothing in me to cry. Today is the day that I am shutting my heart forever. There will only be one love and I had that and I intend to keep that.
I asked myself, what do I do now it is all over. The fighting, the sacrifice and everything else in it. The answer is….. one fine day, with Allah’s will, she will realize that how much I have love her….
THE CHANGES
Sometime in life you tend to follow people around you. You don’t think, you just do as if you think that you are doing a right thing. But why must you follow others? I realize that is the wrong move. Allah created us at the best that we are. We don’t need to follow anyone. We don’t need to become anyone else. We don’t need to feel sorry for our self. We don’t need to feel small. We don’t need to be someone else. We are just fine the way we are and the way Allah created us.
In life we learn to accept Qada’ and Qadar Allah. Just wait, it may not happen immediately. Because Allah knows best. I believe the truth of my life will reveal one day and those who think about me otherwise will regret.
Pictures can worth of thousand words they say, but the real thing is what is inside a person heart and the truth shall remain to the person itself.
THE END
She is free to do what she want. My sincere doa that she find the best person for her…… may allah give her guidance. As for me… back to square one…. Free and Easy…… But the different and improvement is….. I know what I want now and I am stronger by myself. As for the form… I am ready… I was ready since JAIS represent NCR in the system. I filled up mine…. It is just you to fill up yours and get it signed… and that is why it is imperative I see you and waited for you….. I do just wish that you can listen to me and what I have to say…..
THE TRUTH
The truth was revealed on a very special moment last Friday. It was shocking. Finally it was made known that it is not me who is not ready. It is she that wants FREEDOM. Funny when the word was said, my heart drop and my mind were blown away back to 2001. The same word even it is not at the same event and moment experienced has made me lost. My heart was beating endlessly. To confirm, I asked…..
“Can you promise me that you come back to me.?”
She answered “ I don’t know”
“Will you fall for another man in the event.?”
She answered clearly “Maybe”
And my last question…
“Is this what you really want”
She answered “ Yes, I have been conducted myself in wifely manner, so I deserve this”
By this time, my heart drops, my hand shivering…. I feel so much pain inside. My mind blown back to 2001. What do I do, I asked myself? How I am facing this? My tear just came out and I started to cry….. I did my very best to control everything. I had to wash my face several time. At the end I control myself well.
My mind wanted to speak, to explain, to tell that I equally give the same but my heart says for the love you have for her…. You let her go.
I sent her back to the house and when she left me, I cried and cried and cried. The truth is this time, the hurt is more. The pain is not imaginable. For it will be written and it will be known that the door is shut. She will get what she wanted. She will get her FREEDOM
THE DAY
I didn’t sleep. I pray in the morning, then, I ran till there is nothing left in me to run. I cried till there is nothing in me to cry. Today is the day that I am shutting my heart forever. There will only be one love and I had that and I intend to keep that.
I asked myself, what do I do now it is all over. The fighting, the sacrifice and everything else in it. The answer is….. one fine day, with Allah’s will, she will realize that how much I have love her….
THE CHANGES
Sometime in life you tend to follow people around you. You don’t think, you just do as if you think that you are doing a right thing. But why must you follow others? I realize that is the wrong move. Allah created us at the best that we are. We don’t need to follow anyone. We don’t need to become anyone else. We don’t need to feel sorry for our self. We don’t need to feel small. We don’t need to be someone else. We are just fine the way we are and the way Allah created us.
In life we learn to accept Qada’ and Qadar Allah. Just wait, it may not happen immediately. Because Allah knows best. I believe the truth of my life will reveal one day and those who think about me otherwise will regret.
Pictures can worth of thousand words they say, but the real thing is what is inside a person heart and the truth shall remain to the person itself.
THE END
She is free to do what she want. My sincere doa that she find the best person for her…… may allah give her guidance. As for me… back to square one…. Free and Easy…… But the different and improvement is….. I know what I want now and I am stronger by myself. As for the form… I am ready… I was ready since JAIS represent NCR in the system. I filled up mine…. It is just you to fill up yours and get it signed… and that is why it is imperative I see you and waited for you….. I do just wish that you can listen to me and what I have to say…..
Wassalam
