It has been 3 days I am not well. Came back form 2 weeks training, attended the wedding (still working then), the Australia trip (one night in Darwin) and now, with the equipments and bull distribution. Counted the days, it has been 6 weeks that I have not really-really have a good solid rest.
But above all, at every moment, what makes me tired is that I am still alone. I have been doing things alone. I have the LOML, but we are still not together. It is different if you have someone and you do not have someone. This is not a sad story by the way. It is just my feelings that goung trough my fingers up to the blog.
At times, I just wish the event on Hari Raya Aidiladha came through. All I wanted is to settle down. Having someone to take care of me and my kids. I did wrote earlier that it is nice to have someone to have dinner with, to talk about things and to be together sharing the love we have for one another. Like I said.... able to have someone that smile and happy to see you when everytime you reached home is a lift of burden on the shoulder.
Now. Honestly I dont know how long I can last. How further I can hope... Do I give up? Yes I do. But what keeps me going is my believe that one day, I will be with the love of my life. I will have a happy ending. Till then the acceptance of lonliness is bitter. It's going to be the 6th year. And to the new year... I shall continue pray to Allah thet he will give his consent. For now,.... I am alone......
Wassalam.
