Assalamualaikum,
I dont actually know what is going to happen in the future. Apperently I am not old enough to make any decision pertaining to my life. Semua yang saya plan tak menjadi seperti yang saya sangka. Weekend was full. Full with work and family. But I asked myself where am I in this picture. My heart and what I wanted.
I was ask to follow a wish of the one most important person in my life. To be honest, I dont mind at all. But when being instigated by others, yes.... I do mind. Last wishes of "semua kena berpakat adik-beradik" yes I shall follow. But when "sudah-sudahlah Pet, cukup-cukup menunggu benda yang engkau pun tak tahu, ini dia dah o.k dah dengan engkau, balik lah kepangkal jalan, pikir budak-budak, dengar cakap adik-beradik". Yes.. this time I was cought. Worst..."mak tak tahu berapa lama lagi mak hidup, tolonglah Pet".
I came to a point where malas... semalas-malasnya. With Faqihah having important exam next year, what do I do. Funny, the insitigation up to buying cloth, new pants and shoes for the events. Helped by my x on the sizes. And for a person that knows me for 7 years, she did got it right. Should I say well done? Yes I should.
However, last night I hit Faqihah because of attitude. But to be honest, I did that because I was stressed. I know I shouldnt hit her. Faqihah, abah sorry. I shouldnt let it out to you. I promise things will be o.k in 2011. And I am sorry to Firzanah and Aina for scholding both of you last night.
Now as at today I am alone. A decision will be made for me and my daughters. For our happiness. I told myself that I will never ever be stressed anymore. It's my time. Mine and my kids. For this someone will get hurt. But for this also I know that my daughters and mother will be happy.
To those.... I am sorry.
Wassalam.
