Assalamualaikum.
Today, woke up late, wasn't a good sleep as I was thinking about life as usual, and first thing on my mind was.. is life going to be fair to me?… It has been a long last discussion about having someone in my life and the answer rather kind of disappointing. You need time? You shall have time. You need space? you shall have space. In fact, I’ll give you what you need. It’s done. Acceptance is bitter!!
As I look myself in the mirror, I realize age is catching up, my daughters are getting older and I am still lonely. Should expect more? Indeed I should… but decision has already been made. So let be.. let be… let be… I am fine with this.
Love is a feeling that I have for you. Love is something that I want to show you. For you maybe still not enough but I believe when you love a person, you SHOULDN’T really care how the person feels. You just love her regardless how she feels in return. Hurtful? Yes, Pathetic? Yes.
This is my opinion… Bila kita cinta dan sayang pada seseorang, kita beri hati, jiwa dan raga dan hampir kesemua yang kita ada. Hampir ya…. bukan semua. Cinta tak ada nilai… tu sebab orang kata bila jatuh cinta… tak ada yang tersekat-sekat. You fall all the way. Sometimes it is nice and sometimes it is hurtful.
Like me… I given everything, like her she gave everything too. So are we equal? No…. No because I have made a big mistakes ie:- “The Tremendous Event”. Tak payahlah cakap kat blog ni. Pasal dah banyak kali explain dan cakap… Penat he he he. Terpulang nak terima. Like I said in my previous blog, we have choice either fall, sit and wait or move on and be happy. I decided to move on as she did. Everything in this world Allah swa have reason why it happened. Semua ada hikmah baik kejadian buruk mahupun kejadian baik. Yang penting…. Penerimaan hambanya. Believe this… been there… done that….
Continuing about the main subject… laki-laki tak semua sama. Semua bergantung pada cara didikan ibubapa. Like me, I am so different, conservative, not as firm a man should be. But experience and circumstances changed me. To be bolder and expressed what I said then and there. Some say now I walk the talk. Bad in some way but more good I guess. But lately ni banyak sangat kecil hati. I am trying here,, maybe apa saya cakap dah tak bermakna kot… ok fine… accepted. But it is nice kalau dengar dan tolerate sedikit… but… tak kan… tak pa tak pa….
Anyway in return, what I asked for is just a little bit of appreciation… susah ke…? based on what I have gone through… memang susah… so just accept it Shahidir Hasbullah. You are you and she is who she is… sakit kan? Ya sakit… but like I said… “Bila kita cinta dan sayang pada seseorang, kita beri hati, jiwa dan raga dan hampir kesemua yang kita ada.”
So now… fakta ya… “ You are free and easy” and I am “Here and Single” Nothing More and Nothing Less.
Salam……….peace to the world…………..
