Assalamualaikum.
It has been total of 3 weeks with joy and love. The running, the workout, the lunch, the movie, the dinner, the children and most of all, the love and passion. But…. ( I hate it when there is a but…) no decision has been made on her side. For each, the “memory lane” will be there and decision to go there was intact with mind of hatred, heart of unforgiving and memories not forgotten.
I asked myself am I happy accepting this? Do I need to see where is this going? The answer is YES. Been trying to explain all that has happen. But.. acceptance is none. Sad but true. The truth hurts; it even hurts when I tried to explain it. But yet…. I understand of the new ventures, the new life and of course the new people, friends and admirers. But (again there is a “but”) what are you waiting for? It has proven.. I am ready. And then I finally….., I get the idea…. You are unsure. And I give the benefit of the doubt to you..
However, as at this year 2010, I am not who I use to be. I told myself that there will be changes. And most of changes will hurt. The walk and the talk. For everyone…!!!!
My happiness is depends on me!!!. I am the only person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be seriously in trouble.
For me, everything in the world created by Allah swa changes; human, feelings, wealth, happiness, etc. Nothing will last until death or akhirat. After the “tremendous event” I learned, and decided to be happy; the rest is a matter of "experiences or circumstances;” I have found out that happiness will always be found in forgiveness and in loving yourself and others. So… nothing is wrong for giving and showing my love to you.
To truly love is difficult, it is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the “experiences or circumstances” as they are, facing them together and being happy with conviction. And of all the above, I have given.
Cool……………
