LIFE

[Al-Baqarah 156]

(iaitu) orang2 yang apabila mereka ditimpa musibah (malapetaka), mereka berkata: inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. (bahawa sesungguhnya kita kepunyaan Allah dan kita akan kembali kepadaNya).

A lot is happening to me lately. I win some and I lose some. Have I tried to make it better? Indeed I did try. And I will keep on trying of course. Latest was Aina... she is still in the hospital though. I have been taking care of her since Sunday. However I do have to work yesterday so leaving her with her mother.

It is not easy to fight myself of being alone again. For almost five years my life has been well.. I can say “full”. But maybe it just was not meant to be. Acceptance??? Wow honestly very difficult. But I have to for the sake of the children. But now I realise. It takes me a while though.

[Al-Baqarah 134]

“Mereka itu adalah satu umat yang telah lalu sejarahnya; bagi mereka (balasan) apa yang mereka telah usahakan, dan bagi kamu pula (balasan) apa yang kamu usahakan; dan kamu tidak akan ditanya (atau dipertanggungjawabkan) tentang apa yang telah mereka lakukan.”

It was clear that I am the one made the mistakes. I t was clear I was the one who start all this. Allah swa will give back what we have given. That is a fact! I always believe that the fact Allah has created the earth to be round just to show that no matter what you do, good or bad, it will come back to you one day.

[Al-Baqarah 141]

Mereka itu adalah satu umat yang telah lalu sejarahnya; bagi mereka (balasan) apa yang telah mereka usahakan, dan bagi kamu pula (balasan) apa yang kamu usahakan; dan kamu tidak akan ditanya (atau dipertanggungjawabkan) tentang apa yang mereka telah lakukan.

And for each of it was a sin. And this I have to live with it. All I hope that Allah would forgive me. I am not a prophet far form an angel. Just a normal guy that make the mistakes. Few days seeing things that happens to me, I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. But I realise that it is not the end. Maybe it is just a start. My prayers to Allah hopping it will be better.

[Al Baqarah 286]

Allah tidak memberati seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya. Ia mendapat pahala kebaikan yang diusahakannya, dan ia juga menanggung dosa kejahatan yang diusahakannya. (Mereka berdoa dengan berkata): “Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau mengirakan kami salah jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Wahai Tuhan kami ! Janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami bebanan yang berat sebagaimana yang telah Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada kami. Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang kami tidak terdaya memikulnya. Dan maafkanlah kesalahan kami, serta ampunkanlah dosa kami, dan berilah rahmat kepada kami. Engkaulah Penolong kami; oleh itu, tolonglah kami untuk mencapai kemenangan terhadap kaum-kaum yang kafir”.

Then I realise, there is a silver line. There is a reason of all this and I pray that Allah would give me a chance to correct this. Ya Allah.... give me the strength.... I may not be able to undo what I have done.. but I seeking for forgiveness from human and from Allah.

Aina... Abah sorry.... I really am.

Assalmualaikum.